Custom-made

It's been years since I've thrown that piece of gem which I treasured so much into the sea; Into the vast unknown; Into eternity. That piece which nearly brought me into near insanity, to self-absorbtion, to lust; yet, it brought me tempermental joy, social envy and acception of sort. Wearing it around my neck brought me so much pleasure, yet, its colour and cold surface dejects its wearer. This piece of "gem", nothing more than a piece of plactic jewellary after much inspection is now no more.

Walking along the shores which I once treaded, looking around for hints as I trying to trace back memories and feelings of long ago. Which in reality, not so long ago. Skies of baby blue is now turned orange; Young treelings are now fully grown after much sun and rain; The wind does not bring the sweet fragrence of flowers which it used to as it sweep its chilly cold body over me; The sand beneath my feet fails to soothe and warm my feet as it used to; The life and activity on the beach is now barren...in short, lifeless. Has everytyhing lost its touch? Has time changed its surrounding so much till I can't adapt? Or, Is it just me changing?

I think its both.
I

wonder where did it landed now...in the depth of the sea? washed on shore in some far off land? picked up by fate? I wonder...I wonder...Strecthing my sight across the now sparkling sea, reflecting the sun's rays as its seeps into the horizon, admiring the awesome scenary before me, I noticed something glimmered in a different tone, out shining the rest. Curiousity got the better of me.

Upon the sight of my target, I could only stand from a distance, staring at it thoughtfully, doubtfully and questionably. As lo and behold, it was the "gem" which I has disposed of, that not so long ago. Memories flooded back like a dam unleashing its waters; Feelings of yonder soar in heights as it flew once again. I'm tempted; Tempted to pick it up and own it once again; Tempted to say "Just this once..."; Tempted to turn back to the past.

Then it happened. Another being appeared without my knowing, bent down and scooped it up with her tender hands, admiring it as it shone with pride, holding it as if it were her own.

Jelousy stormed over me, raining drops of asid. Why didn't I take it when I had the chance? Why don't I just take it out of her hands? Why? WHY? why? Why can't I have a gem which compliments me? Which I rightfully own... Struggling with myself; my desires; my wants. I had moved on. I did what was right though it was hard and when no one understand. I was strong. What is happening to me now? I need that strength once again. That strength to move from that spot, from going back to the past, from desiring something which is not mine, from just being impatient in finding my own gem.

Amist my mourns and groans and questions, a gentle hand rested on my shoulders; A gentle voice told me that He's all I need, that I need to trust Him to get THE special gem for me. I crumpled into His loving arms, sobbing, as He stroke my hair and whispering words of ensurement and encouragement over me. It was then I remembered...He's all I need. He has the power, He has the strength, He's capable of getting a gem for me, as He's a craftsman...who shapes minerals into gems. All I need to do is allow Him to choose and fashion it for me as I wait patiently.

In time...just wait...I'll have my own custom-made gem.